Masturbation: A Satanic Stronghold

I wrote an article on this subject years ago before I ever had an inkling that I would ever be a Catholic.  I dug it out this week and read it over.  I was impressed by how differently I view God and His will for our lives now as opposed to then.  I'm thankful for the fact that God has kept the promise in my life's verse (John 14:21) and revealed Himself over time.  I'll insert some Catholic insights in brackets as I copy it so that it isn't too Calvinist. :)

Masturbation is one of those seldom talked about subjects.  Rarely is it mentioned from the pulpit or in Sunday School classes.  But on the rare occasions that it does come up, it stirs up a great deal of controversy.  Seventy years ago, it was thought that masturbation caused loss of hair, blindness, insanity or even death.  Many obscure Bible passages were used to condemn it.  Presently, or culture tends to favor a lenient approach to the practice.  I have even read from more than one source that masturbation is a moral act, an act of self-discovery, even an aid to sexual problems in marriage.  But I have never read anything like my own story.  Maybe I haven't picked up the right book or magazine.  Perhaps no one has had the courage to be gut level honest and admit what a Satanic stronghold masturbation has been for them.  So for those who know in their hearts that this practice is destroying them from within, I offer my own testimony.

I was raised in a home where we were taught that sex was just about the greatest gift God had given us.  I was taught that masturbation was God's gift to the single person or to the person who was in a marriage where they were not having their "sexual needs" met.  I was taught that sex was a need just like food, clothing and shelter.  That if we were denied sexual release, we might suffer all sorts of emotional and physical problems.  I grew up believing all these things like I believed that Jesus died for my sins. 

I lived most of my life convinced of these things, but constantly fighting a sense of guilt and distance from God.  Some experts believe that our parent or religious educators instill this guilt early on.  If that were so, I surely should have been completely at ease with my masturbation habit.  But I was not. 

Masturbation is sometimes viewed as the most moral option for a single person because there is no physical complications involved such as sexually transmitted diseases or unplanned pregnancy.  Even among those who hold to a moral perspective on sexuality, masturbation seems to be a victimless act.  Psychologists often suggest it to patients who are experiencing sexual problems.  (Doesn't that give it a kind of "medical marijuana" status?)

Masturbation was my first memory.  I remember hiding from my mother to do it.  (It ruled my life until 2001, when I was received into the Catholic Church.) I had perfected the art.  According to the experts, I should have been supremely prepared for marriage.

I married when I was 25 and immediately realized that  intercourse was nothing like masturbation.  Newly weds have much to learn about pleasing their spouses and in the marital act, there are two bodies and two brains involved.  Neither brain is wired to the other body.  Neither spouse is certain exactly how to satisfy the others wants.  The self service of masturbation is replaced by interdependence.  One who is used to self satisfaction is left frustrated by their spouses inexperience. 

When masturbation was combined with romantic or sexual fantasy (which it always is) no real-life partner can hope to measure up to the expectations of the other.  For my spouse and I, the frustration drove us into separate corners of the bed and eventually to separate corners of the house.

Because of the sexual abuse I had experienced from my father, I had a disproportionate view of sex from an early age.  He taught me methods of masturbation that I had not figured out on my own.  He praised me for being so "comfortable" with my sexuality and for masturbating frequently.  So when I approached marriage, I was certain that this same fixation on sexuality would not only continue but find its fulfillment.  I was angry and bitter with disappointment when that was not the case.

By the time I found myself facing Diane in counseling, I was a miserable, angry, sexually distorted woman who saw satisfaction as her right.  I knew I had sacrificed God in the process.  His Holy Spirit pressed hard on my spirit day in and day out.  (Ps 32:4)  I knew I was at a crossroad.

(If you've read the Out of Darkness series, you know that things moved quickly after I met Diane and we tackled many issues in just a few weeks.  After the first few steps were done, we began to focus on my sexual obsession.  It was a frightening experience.  Not only had I become so dependant on masturbation for sexual release, I had become dependant on it for stress relief and for inducing sleep.  I felt the the infrastructure of my life was being wrenched out of my grasp and I had no idea how to live.) 

First of all, my in ordinate sex drive was fueled by my undisciplined mind.  I was so addicted to sexual fantasy that it supplied all my emotional needs.  Basically, I was my own lover.  I met my own needs through my own imagination and my own hands.  Abandoning that practice meant that I was forced out of myself and into a reality that included a dysfunctional marriage where none of my emotional or sexual needs were going to be met. (It forced me into the Presence of God where my need truly was.) 

2 Cor. 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ."  The first thing I had to tackle was cleaning up my thought life.  I had to repeatedly avoid certain music, movies, TV shows, and daydreams that led inevitably to masturbation and robbed me of the presence of God in my life.  It was a minute by minute battle.  It meant sleepless nights, learning new ways of controlling stress, time in the scriptures, and immediate confession of sin.  It was like arm wrestling with Satan day and night.

I learned that sex is not a need.  It is a desire, but not a need.  A need is something we will die without or that we cannot serve God without.  I can live and I can serve God without sex.  Though it is a God-given desire, it is not life threatening or sanity threatening to live without it!  I learned that if I want to talk about what I deserve, I would have to admit that what I deserve is hell.  So rather than shaking my fist at God and demanding my "rights", I learned that God is the ultimate satisfaction of all my needs.

Now I have to admit, I started out typing the article I wrote years ago, but I just cannot write as a Calvinist anymore.  In fact, that's another subject I'm going to take on soon.  As a recovering Calvinist, I find that particular heresy destructive and contrary to the gospel.  But that's for another day.  I definitely rewrote this article as I went along.  The fact is that this battle raged on until after my entrance into the Catholic Church in 2001.  I can only attribute the victory over this Satanic stronghold to the sacraments.  They are our spiritual life support.  No amount of counseling, scripture, or accountability could keep me from sliding down that slippery slope into sin; but total dependence on the grace of God, constantly supplied in the sacraments, has sustained me for almost ten years.  And for the last seven of those years I have been single, celibate and utterly content in the Divine Presence of God.  No one can know what a miracle that is like I do.  You'll just have to take my word for it.

Next time, I will write about the affect this article had on my family and the clear evidence that masturbation was a Satanic stronghold in my family.  We never sin alone; not even when we are alone.

Melanie Pritchard, A Walking Miracle

Melanie Pritchard, a walking miracle. 

Praised be the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit for the mercy that Melanie has been shown!  Please keep her in your prayers.  Being the mother of a young woman who nearly died giving birth, I know that there are many challenges ahead.  Please make Melanie and her family a prayer commitment for the next year or so.

Victoria Jackson: "There's A Communist Living in the White House!!"

We Are In The Middle Of A Communist Revolution!

We are in the middle of a communist revolution and few in the US can actually see it for what it truly is. The US is now on the path of financial destruction. The Constitution has been shredded and individual human rights are being trampled.


Live Free or Die Fighting !
Naval Commander Jerry Wilson

Urgent Prayers Please

Your Catholic Neighbor: Melanie Pritchard

This lovely young voice for Life nearly lost hers today as she gave birth to her baby. Melanie's heart stopped and she had to be revived. She is currently in ICU in critical condition. Please cover her with your prayers. Thank you!

In Your Quest For Truth, Face The Ugliest, Most Venomous Utterances, And Then Make A 180.

Was it Shakespeare that used the phrase "Methinks you protest too much?"  I don't actually know, but I know I use that phrase a lot when responding to those who hate the Catholic Church and all us evil, superstitious, deceitful Catholics.  I'm often asked why Protestants seem so angry when they respond to Catholic teachings.  I've always felt it's because down deep they recognize the voice of authority and they hate it.

Well, if you think other Christians can be nasty in their rejection of the Catholic Church, try some kind hearted atheists on for size.  Here's a charming comment that my dear brother Patrick Madrid got to his new book "the Godless Delusion."

Comment 38 by Logicel


There is no Christian as obnoxious, as smug, as conceited, as vain, as dense, as repellent, as chillingly impervious to reality, as oppressive, as mean, as cruel, as unethical as a Catholic.

These two idiots are just a pair of wannabee crusaders.

There is no discussion possible--all they have left is indignation and obfuscation in addition to a good dose of fear-mongering with a great dollop of guilt of course.

It is great that they keep opening their pie-holes and the crapola spews out. Keep blathering, Catholics, as your microphone is the shovel digging the grave for your dangerous, superstitious set of beliefs.

How's that for tolerance and freedom of thought?  What really puzzles me is that I'm reading the book in question but I have no idea what this dude read.  There is none of the above going on except, perhaps, in the troubled mind of this person who knows in his heart of hearts that he is raging against his own maker who wants only the best for him.  It reminds me of a line from one of Rich Mullin's songs:  "I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want, than take what you give that I need."  Hmmm.  What's really bothering you Logicel?

Lady Gaga and Cloistered Nuns on the Same Record Label

Lady Gaga and Cloistered Nuns on the Same Record Label

Still Think I'm Over Reacting?

I've had readers write me notes about how I'm over reacting to the anti-Christian culture we live in.  They think I sound like a wacko from Waco when I talk about losing our religious freedom or our freedom to speak and live the gospel publicly.

Well, I just got a tweet from someone spewing this guys caustic anti-Catholic venom and I think it about sums up what I've been saying is going on out there.  Next time you go to your house of worship and park in the parking lot rather than down the street and carry your missal or your Bible, don't take for granted the freedoms you are exercising.  They are not assured or secure.  In fact, I predict they are vanishing quickly.

If you react like I did, you'll feel like you need to take a shower after you read this article.

From One Of My Favorite Books

"“O surpassing loving-kindness! Christ received nails in His undefiled hands and feet, and suffered anguish. Meanwhile, He freely gives me salvation, without pain or toil, by the fellowship of His suffering.” St. Cyril of Jerusalem

Scott Hahn & Mike Aquilina
Living the Mysteries: A Guide for Unfinished Christians, Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division"

A Kindred Spirit

I found a new friend and neighbor in blogdom. Stop by RevertConvert and enjoy Joyful Catholic's musings. I love her shoot from the hip style!

I'm Honored

Abba's Little Girl has won a blog award. Since these awards are given as a result of reader nomination, I want to thank my readers for their support. Please pray for me as I enter a new phase of articles as you can see from the "In The Works" section in the margin. Pray for the leadership of the Holy Spirit and for the receptiveness of hearts that need to receive this message.

Thanks again!

The Sweetness of His Smile

“In the course of all ages, there appeared only one who embodied all the characteristics of a perfect gentleman, and that was Jesus Christ. In all His career of thirty-three years, not a single instance of unkindness can be discovered. The sweetness of His smile, the glint of His eye, the sympathy that crept into His face as He consoled, comforted, or encouraged someone in need of help – all bespoke real kindness and affection for His fellowman. Even when He chided hypocrites, He was impelled by love for those whom He saw exploited.”

Lawrence G. Lovasik
The Hidden Power of Kindness, Sofia Institute Press

If we call ourselves Christian, we ought to bear a family resemblence to our Father and our Brother, Christ.

Victory or Death

This is the most refreshing political speach I've heard since Ronald Regan hung out in the Oval Office.

Catholic, "ALL OR NOTHING"

My Dear Brother

As most of you know, I have a brother who makes his living bashing the same Church I love so dearly. But he's an equal opportunity basher. He's making enemies of most everyone these days. I wrote to him and expressed my bewilderment at some of his latest battles. He seems to spend all his time dissecting every word of everyone who does not agree completely with him and making a display of his opinion on every detail of everyone elses life.

Now before you start writing that email about how odd it is that I should write such personal material in a public forum, I'll answer that question right off the bat.

I have done my best to deal with him personally. He has demanded that I not contact him again. He has done everything he can to cut off any contact between us while claiming that I'm the one who has severed our relationship. But I do know one thing. He reads this blog faithfully. He reads it to make sure he knows what I am saying about him. So I've decided to use it now and then to say things directly to him.

There is a secondary reason for communicating publicly. I'm sure some of you have had the experience of having a tense relationship with a relative or coworker. When you need to say something important and controversial to them, don't you sometimes ask another more objective person to attend the conversation? Someone to be a witness to what you are saying and how it is received? Well, that is the other reason for using this medium for communication.

It is the nature of protestantism that there should be disagreement. While once there was one truth, now there is one truth and a whole world of those who disagree. So I don't understand why it comes as a surprise to my dear brother that others disagree with him. But just as occurred with the Reformers themselves, Jim seems to want to stand toe to toe with everyone outside his own sect and declare that they are not his brothers in Christ because of one thing or another. His verbal violence is really disturbing and displays a man with a serious lack of understanding of the love of God for each of us.

I'm reminded of a passage in Philippians: "It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice."

I wonder if my brother would like to be on the receiving end of his own forensic examination of life, education, motives, honesty, perfection of delivery, and personal holiness? I believe we are shown mercy in direct proportion to how we give it. I also believe that if you are not willing to labor in love and prayer for someone, you should not open your mouth in criticism. The Psalmist said that God's kindness led him to repentance. Hmmmm.

The Hermitage Within

Ever finish a book and just wish it could go on forever? The Hermitage Within was one of those for me. Being an avowed lay person, I have one foot in two worlds. I work full time, I'm a part time Nana (Grandmother), and when time and other responsibilities allow, I live a lay monastic life. The combination is a real balancing act, but in a real way each works itself out in the other. Work, especially service of others, can be prayer.

This book is written by a Monk who does not identify himself. He writes to those who have entered a hermitage and are learning to live the monastic life. While not everything he writes applies to me, since I am still in the world, much of what he writes makes me realize the value and the joy of the life I've been called to.

I will be featuring some quotes from this little book now and then. The insights are rich.

A hermit chooses to live the life we will live in heaven here on earth. He is one who offers his own freedom and even his own body for the Kingdom of God. They are the prayer power behind every Priest's ministry, behind every Sisters care, behind every mother who teaches her children the faith. They pray down the mercy of God on those who have no one else to pray for them. Their prayers accompany souls through purgation and into glory.

Their sacrifice of life in the world does not go unrewarded in this life. For every joy they give up, they receive a hundred more. The greatest of these is intimacy with Christ. As the Monk reminds us: "have faith enough to realize that, being there, you are a nursling carried at the breast and fondled in the lap. Like a son being comforted by his mother, God will comfort you. Then your heart will rejoice and your bones will flourish like the grass."

This is another of those books I will be returning to.

Urgent Prayers Please!!!

My daughter, Esther, has this prayer request for anyone and everyone. Please feel free to pass it along.

"David Wills was a theology professor of mine while I was at Franciscan University last year. His love for the Church and her teachings was apparent and, as only the best teachers are able to do, he made it contagious. After I left, we kept in touch and have become quite good friends. He recently discovered that he had cancer in his right eye and a few days ago, surgery was performed that (please God!) removed all of it. He and his family are eagerly awaiting the results of that surgery to find out if the cancer has spread or if it all was successfully removed. Also, only time will tell how well he will be able to see out of that eye after 1/4 of his iris was removed. I have spoken with David about how he's doing with all of this, and he is staying full of faith and prayer. His main concern is for his parents. So please keep him and his anxious mother and father in your prayers for God's will to be done.
St. Peregrine, pray for us!"

Crossed The Tiber

I came across a great blog recently called "Crossed The Tiber." It's an award winning Catholic site. What I love about it is the writer has a sound understanding of apologetics and a very down to earth way of explaining things. The article I've linked to is about the early church and her belief in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist from the very beginning of her history. I find it amazing the kinds of heresy that can develop when you cut the scriptures off from Sacred Tradition. It's like finding a document in a time capsule and trying to figure out what they meant 2000 years ago without any historical background to clarify the writers' point of view. What you end up with is sects that don't even vaguely resemble the original intention. You get things like Calvinism or that baptist sect that shows up to funerals of soldiers and preach hate. The scriptures are NOT self explanatory. They were never intended to be. They were intended to be read by those catechized in Sacred Tradition and in the context of Sacred Liturgy. Rip them from that intended place and you can read anything you want to read in them.

Holiness Made Safe

"'When Mary arrives at her cousin’s house, Elizabeth humbly asks, 'And why is this granted me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?' (Luke 1:43), an allusion or parallel to David’s question, 'How can the ark of the LORD come to me?' (2 Samuel 6:9). Crucially, however, David cried out in fear, having seen a man die because he accidentally touched the ark, while Elizabeth cries out in wonder and joy. In Jesus holiness is made safe.'

David Mills
Discovering Mary: Answers to Questions About the Mother of God, Servant Books"

Mel Gibson, Piercing The Hand That Loves Him

In an interview before the release of The Passion of the Christ, Mel Gibson said that he used his own hand for the scene when the soldier drives the nail through Jesus' hand. I wonder if he realizes he is still driving that nail? Oh God of all redemption, call the sinner back home.

Update: It looks like the Holy Spirit may be on the move in Mel's life. Let's keep him and his wife in our prayers.

Near The Fire

"'A Father of the Church, Origen, in one of his homilies on Jeremiah, reports a saying attributed to Jesus, not contained in the sacred Scriptures but perhaps authentic, which he puts thus: “Whoever is near me, is near the fire” ('Homilies on Jeremiah,' L. I [III]). In Christ, in fact, there is the fullness of God, who in the Bible is compared to fire. We just observed that the flame of the Holy Spirit burns but does not destroy. And nevertheless it causes a transformation, and it must for this reason consume something in man, the waste that corrupts him and hinders his relations with God and neighbor.'

Pope Benedict XVI
Homily of Pentecost 2010"

Why Christians Should Pray For Christopher Hitchens

When I was a Calvinist, I would have thought this was humanistic drivel. But now I see this as walking in Jesus' foot steps and showing mercy to those who need it most.

Paid To Teach The Catholic Faith ~ Fired For Teaching The Catholic Faith

If you needed any more proof that the world is gone mad, this one should do it. Now I ask you: "Would a Muslim Professor of Islam get fired for believing what he was paid to teach? Seriously, why can't people see the inconsistency? Why isn't the Civil Liberties Union on the war path over this one? Do we have freedom of religion or not? The "change" that has been sweeping this country for the last several decades has picked up speed and I'm beginning to think the persecution of Christians and especially Catholic Christians is likely to begin in my lifetime.

Soul Of Christ . . .

"“The church teaches that soul refers to ‘the innermost aspect of man, that which is of greatest value in him, that by which he is most especially in God’s image’ (CCC 363). It is in the soul where we are most like our Creator. It is his soul that we call upon to save our own, to strengthen and sanctify our own. All power, all goodness, all strength and virtue found in the human soul originates from the soul of Christ.”

Liz Kelly
May Crowning, Mass and Merton: 50 Reasons I Love Being Catholic, Loyola Press"

It Was Inevitable

Satanism wrongly used at trial, death row inmate argues

If you were thinking that you had heard it all, try this one on for size. The difference between good and evil has been so obscured by the new religion of relativism that now we can't call evil, evil. I have to say I'm glad I'm as old as I am. (That was one of my mother's favorite comments.) I am frankly weary of the insanity of this stuff. I offer myself as an oblation for my children and Grandchildren as they stand against this kind of thing. Lord have mercy on us all.

Love Those Who Offend Us

"“The Son of God loved us, who offended him; we too must love those who offend us, and thus conquer evil with good. To hate sin but to love the sinner: This is the way to peace, the way that the Lord teaches us from the mystery of his birth.”

Pope John Paul II
Words to Live By, The Word Among Us Press"

Comic Relief

If you need a laugh like I do today, check this site out. In fact, bookmark it for emergencies!